Leland, today you are one.

Today, you are one.
For months, and months, I've been unbelieving you were already "this" old, but today, it feels like a year has past and that you are one.  A very fast year, mind you.

Today, I worked and I was thinking about you and missing you all day.  Everybody consoled me by saying that you didn't know any better.  But, I did.  I knew it was your day.

Today, I was thinking about what a perfect day it was this time last year.  My labor and delivery with you was just what I wanted, and I truly like to think this was your first gift to me.  I'm so very proud of myself for delivering you naturally, it's just something that I thought would be impossible, and I wasn't sure about, but because of you--I did. We were such a team.  Looking back on that day, it's easy now to see how much of your personality reflects your delivery.  I just picture you like, "OK Mom, I'm ready.  I'm doing this.  Let's do this.  You don't think you can do this, but you can.  Here goes." Is that silly?  I just feel that it's true.  And more and more I see that it is true.  You are this independent, efficient, chill little guy.  Just like my labor and delivery.
Today, I picked you up from Cherie's and you came right over and scratched your little hands on my legs, asking to be held.  We came home and all three of us made a chocolate cake.  You toddled around the whole house, as you do, while I was making dinner.  Opening cupboards and bringing things out.  Picking up toys, and dropping them along the way.  Today, you were such an explorer.  We ate pork chops, broccoli, and mashed potatoes--and you gobbled it all up.  Meish & Morea came over, and you brought Morea a ball over and over and over.  We sang and ate cake.  You hastily ate yours in little bites.  We opened presents, and you played with them when Jude would let you.
And then, tonight, a magical thing happened.  You let me rock you in the chair.  I sat with you all bundled in a quilt, and we just chilled.  We rocked and I sang you Baby Mine, and I tried to remember the moment to save for later.  I thought you had fallen asleep, but you hadn't.  You just stared up at me, as you do, and then started to jabber in short, abrupt phrases.  So then, I had to put you down to bed.  So you could put yourself to sleep...you bounced and jabbered and then slowly got quiet.

Today, I love looking at your chubby elbows, and skinny little neck.  I love your short, cropped hair growing on the back of your head.  I love rubbing your peach fuzz growing on the top of your head.  I adore the way your tilt your head full force to have a swig.  And how when I kiss, kiss, kiss on you, you just ignore.  I love how when I'm holding you, you are just content to go where I go, and see what I see.  And then, how you'll swing your head in front of mine just to check out my face. 

Lelo Bear, today you are 1!  And just what an incredible gift that is.
Happy Birthday, my little bug.