Leland: 18 months

Leland,

Oh my, but these posts make me sentimental.  Tonight, I went back and read all your old monthly posts from last year.  I know I'm likely the only one to ever read them over and over like this, but I am so very glad I've kept a record.  I can say it so much, but time is moving so quickly, and while I really do try my best to soak you up in the moment, as you grow it gets harder and harder for me to remember what it was like, exactly.  This might sound strange, but tonight as I was marveling at you at 1 month, 2 months, etc. I kept coming back to a thought: can I get a do-over? Can I just have some time, some sneak-backs, to just BE with you at that age?  Because, even though I cuddled and napped with you, and most of all--just LOVED being with you, my memory of how real it was is fading.  And I don't like that.  Heart. so. heavy. Not in the least.  I know I can't get the time back. 

 Leland, you simply could not be any cuter than you are right now, even though I know you will only continue to do just that.  You love to interact and jibber jabber with us.  Just a bunch of jumbled sounds--while you are reading, playing, everything.  Yet, also, you've begun to say many real words, and even two words put together--"dah-dthy home." "dah-dthy home?" "dah-dthy home!"  So many ways to say one phrase.  I just love the way you say Daddy, it sounds very old-money American, very Ivy-League (daddy, with a rolled double-d, and on repeat).  These days, you really love to play with Juno.  You feed her miniscule bites of your food, and wander to her treats and get them out for her.  You really love her, but I'm not so sure she understands your aggressive approach.  Right now, if I find you in Jude's room, inevitably it is with a pile of books around you, jibber-jabbering away with one in your lap.  I'm so happy you've found books and like them!  I'm still trying my best to read you the stories, but for now what works best is if you are in charge.  Leland, the other day I got you out of the car, and you ran right over to our tulips popping up, and exclaimed, "fower!" "fower!" "fower!"  I was so impressed.  You are just soaking it all up.  Another cute thing you've created all by yourself, is signing for "coat" by flapping your elbows and saying "coa-coa? coa-coa?  yah."  Leland, when you wake up in the mornings, you always want your banana, or two, right away.  I buy bananas in bulk!  You'll open the fridge yourself and bring me clementine after clementine--each with a bite mark.  When you want me to hold you, you throw your arms up and whine, "choo-youuuuu" which is "hold you"  If I am busy, you will push me, and push me, and whine nooooooo, noooooo until I hold you.  This cracks me up, so determined are you that you be held--you never give up, you don't get offended, you get mad!  Like, I. WILL. MAKE. YOU. HOLD. ME. WOMAN!  Leland, you are so happy when Daddy comes home.  You run around squealing, and ready, ready to play chase.  You are pretty attached to me still, and let me know straight away what is and what isn't acceptable when we are at someone else's place.  You like to hit and pull my hair, and then genuinely give me a love when you have gone too far.  The other day Dad took you to the park, and you climbed up to the tip, top, HIGH slide, and then hung from the bars (!?!) and then turned around and went down.  All by yourself.  Wild child, no fear. 

Leland, people keep telling me how grown up you look--like a little boy now.  Try as I might, I don't see it.  To me, you are still my little baby with a perfectly-shaped round head, who now toddles, and runs, and climbs, and tries to jump.  My baby with perfectly soft skin and kissable lips and nose.  I'm sorry, but I still just have to squish you sometimes.  You are my baby who can go up and down a few stairs, standing up.  Still so independent.  Still such a firecracker.  I will forever being saying that, forever marveling in all that is you. 

Here are some more things you are up to these days:

kisses--muuuuah.
bye-bye! (looking out the front window)
so happy to see anyone walk through our front door
yes means yes, no means no.
but most the time likes to say no.
"side???"  = outside
"shhhu" = shoe
"c-u" = I see youuuuuuu
"suhhh-y" = sorry (and you know right when to say it)
loving to brush your teeth
books in crib to go to asleep
playing in bed before asleep
best giggle
jibber jabbering so much, and adding a head nod at the end
music--instinct to just wiggle your shoulders
love your big bro, but starting to hold your own when he taunts you
when it's wresting time, you're all in.

18 month stats:
Weight: 26 lbs 14 oz (80th %ile)
Height: 35 inches (finally made it off the charts!) (105 %ile)
Weight:Length: 45th %ile
Head: 19 inches

PS: Jude @ 18 months