34 weeks and chillin'

At long last, I'm feeling less stressed and more ready to have this child. Hallelujah! My days off have been more relaxing since my mandatory to-do list is now just itsy-bitsy. This past weekend was absolutely beautiful and I was able to spend it out in my yard, with family, and out & about a bit on my bike.

I don't know if it was by some ironic twist of fate, but somehow they offered a continuing education credit at work by showing The Miracle of Life. Yes, the unwelcome Miracle of Life we all had to sit through in high school health class...except for my real miracle is that I missed the day my class got to watch it. Now I know. Now I understand the horror. You're just sitting there... peacefully...watching that lady take a few deep breaths, she's very calm really...and then BAM! There it is. The infamous crotch shot so many of us now have etched in our minds. And it will never go away. Man, do I wish I didn't watch that. I feel like I need to send an apology letter to my doctor in advance. Or maybe I should write myself an apology, only to be opened after delivery. It could go something like this:


Dear Lisa,
So sorry for the embarassing display today, but both you and I knew this was the only way out of this situation.  Don't worry though--you were a total champ, a definite rockstar--and look what a beautiful baby boy you have to show for it!

Love,
Yourself

In the past couple of weeks, I've had a few crazy dreams.

In one, I delivered the baby at 34 weeks in a space capsule. My labor was only 2 hours and didn't really hurt, just a lot of strong pressure. A few days later, I went in for my weekly doctor's visit. After checking in, I simply said to the lady, "Oh yeah, and I had my baby." Then my mom picked it up out of her purse to show everyone. It had long, straight strawberry-blonde hair pulled to the side with a little bow. I frowned and said, "But Mom, what's this bow? I had a boy, right?" And she replied, "Oh no Sweetie, out popped a little girl." So then I turned back to front desk lady and said matter-of-factly, "Yes, a little girl. We named her Jazz."  Sidenote to baby:  we would never do that to you.

In another dream, I was also in labor...but this time the baby was coming up through my mouth. So, my doctor had me do a head stand up against the wall and open my mouth wide. Then I heard him say, "It's a no go! It's breech--I can see a foot. Nurse!! C-section!!" At which point my hands went up around my throat--like no, no, don't slice my throat. I said, "Dr. It's coming. It's here!" Then I proceeded to deliver the letter L (the L he had mistaken for a foot). Followed by the whole alphabet. When that was done, I said, "No, there's still something there." They checked and I had delivered all 26 letters--so it must be the baby coming up next. Thank goodness I woke up then, but strangely enough I still had the tight feeling in my throat....


Analyze those if you will. And get back to me.

PS--I wish you could see just what little Rachie goes through for these shots.  Thanks Sis--for laying on my kitchen floor with Juno all up in your grill, and also for laying on my gravel-pit of a driveway just to get the best shot.